I was bummed when I pulled this challenge out of the box this morning. I knew I had a busy day ahead and things to do after work to get ready for our trip out of town Friday. Argh, I don't have time to paint today. Why couldn't I get this challenge Saturday, when I'll be up in the mountains relaxing, looking for a lovely, inspiring activity like painting? I even considered tossing it back into the box for a better day.
What the hell, I'll just do it. I asked Terri to get out some watercolors and paper for me, which I set aside for the evening.
The voice in my head was saying, "But I can't make a good painting, the painting I would really want to make without much time." I realized it was the controlling, perfectionist in me feeling like I needed more time and the right opportunity to paint. I decided to give myself an attitude adjustment. OK, Alyssa, don't think of it as being an artist creating a masterpiece. You're not getting graded on this. Think of it like you just walked into a child's classroom and they ask you to sit down and paint with them for a little while. You're carefree and playing - enjoying yourself, watching the colors smear around, no pressure. Just having fun - painting freely as a child would paint. Ah, that really helped. I felt the tension melt away. It was supposed to be fun - not anxiety-producing.
It's like what I tell others when they say they are too busy and don't have time to practice yoga. "You don't have time to not do it," I say. It's exactly when you are the most resistant - the most busy and stressed- that you need to do it. I thought about how good I feel and more productive I am after doing yoga. I gain back all the time the class takes and more with the added calm and clarity it provides. Like yoga, I realized that painting would feel good.
And it did. My inner child thanked me.
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