Still laying in bed this morning, I completed this challenge as soon as I got up. I was awake early and thought a love letter to myself would be a great way to start the day. I thought I was doing really well, being positive and upbeat. It wasn't until I read it through that I saw what had happened. Holy crap, do I love myself conditionally!? That is to say, my love letter isolated certain traits and qualities to love and sort of made excuses or forgave the rest. Like, OK, I love the warped sense of humor, kind Alyssa but not the perfectionist, quick to anger Alyssa. That's not fair. I'm a package deal. I can love my wife, kids, and friends unconditionally, why not myself? They all have flaws too. Sure, I strive to be more of the kind, funny, loving Alyssa and less of the critical, obsessed Alyssa - that's what this challenge is all about. But that doesn't mean I'm not wholly worthy of loving myself just the way I am. I want to learn to give myself a break - cut myself some slack. I'm my own worst critic - that's another part of what this challenge is all about - to accept and love myself just the way I am. So I reframed my thinking and finished the letter with full loving support and unconditional love. I even wrote part to my inner child. It felt freeing, therapeutic, like I unlocked myself and gave me permission to come out.
It's a delicate balance, striving to improve while loving your flawed self on the way. One of the things I love about myself is I'm always working to stretch myself. An important lesson for me to remember is that I'm not challenging myself because I need to be perfect and am not worthy as I am - I'm challenging myself to have more joy and richness in my life. I love me. Amen. :-)
Love Reminders: At my old job whenever I called to leave a reminder for myself on my own voicemail, I always started with a positive, and somewhat silly compliment, like - "Hi Alyssa, you look fabulous today, please remember to finalize the meeting agenda." Then in the morning when I got the message it always made me smile. It works with post-it reminders too. "Alyssa, I love your smile, please take out the trash." Try it.
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