Don't let that relaxed-looking photo of me fool you. I failed miserably at this challenge. I mean, really, what the hell is "just be"? Just be what? Just be bored? Just be quiet? Just be trying to just be so much you can't just be? And "just be" for an entire hour?
In between rearranging furniture, cleaning the house, 3 loads of laundry, and my daughter's soccer game I decided to "just be". We have plans later, best get it over with now. So I went out on the patio and sat at the picnic table. The weather was exquisite - perfect, balmy temperature, light breeze. The water splashing from the fountain was melodic, hypnotizing. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and tried to clear my mind. It was very peaceful and meditative. Breathing in, breathing out. Then my dog Dixie jumped up on the table to see what I was doing. She's so cute, I began petting her. Wait, does the dog count as not being alone? Is petting the dog still "just being"? I mean dogs are the ultimate "just be-ers"and petting her helped me relax and feel joy. So, yes, I decide that petting my 4-legged "just be" self-help coach is OK. But wait, worrying about whether petting the dog is just being is definitely not just being. Damn. What time is it anyway? Oh hell, it's only been 12 minutes. How is that possible! OK, close eyes again, breathe deeply. Clearing my mind, feeling zen. I'm feeling so relaxed, restful. This is going well.
"Hey honey, how's it going?", Terri calls out from the kitchen. Ahhh! If I answer I won't be just being. Oh, damn, I can't do this. I throw in the towel.
"Not so good", I tell her, "I only made it 15 minutes."
She walks outside to console me, all 3 dogs follow along and jump up on the table wagging and sniffing. Now I am definitely not alone just being. Oh well. I gave it a try. 1 hour is a very long time to just be. At least I just was or had been for a little while. What is the past tense of "just be" anyway...just been? had been? been had? Oops, there I go again over-thinking. You know, 15 minutes isn't so bad. I'll work my way up from there.
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