I love poetry, both reading and writing, so this challenge felt good to get today. Particularly because I felt so emotionally inspired and would be returning home in the afternoon.
I spent the weekend in Big Bear with a bunch of friends celebrating 50th birthdays for 3 of us. Our group of 27 rented out a small lake view lodge - all 8 cabins - to ourselves. Our children played together and ran amuck and adults chatted, cooked, and caught up on daily life. It was delightful. We made a vow of leaving electronic devices behind, which we pretty much did. (Which also explains why my posts Friday and Saturday night were short). On Saturday evening the 3 birthday women sat in "thrones" - chairs festooned with our favorite color balloons- while our friends shared kind words about each of us, then we were "crowned" with homemade crowns of the same color and each given our own favorite flavor birthday cakes. It was one of the warm, touching times in my life that I will always treasure. The entire weekend reminded me how loved and very, very fortunate I am.
The familiar, unconditional love in these friendships is rare. We know each others flaws and in many ways it's those flaws that draw us lovingly together. There is no pretense. And though we have much fun together, like family, sometimes we say and do the wrong things, but we always rally back around to love. We support one another so much. Our connections help us get through daily life - the challenges of personal struggle and growth, marriages, and child rearing.
I could not survive raising a teenage daughter without these friends to see me through. There are more emotional peaks and valleys - mostly valleys or rather sheer, steep cliffs - in raising a teenage daughter. This in between stage, when she is so very much a grown woman yet so much a child is very difficult. A day doesn't go by without screaming, crying, laughing, or all 3. I decided to make my daughter's teenage struggle the subject of the poem.
In Between
Some days I just want to jump on the swings again
Pumping my legs, pulling hard on the chain
Head back, warm sun on my face
Up, down, forward and back
Higher and higher
I am mighty, I am free.
Some days I wish I could drive a car, a fast car
Loud music blasting on its stereo
It would be my favorite color
I am in the driver’s seat, going where I want to go.
Faster and faster
I am powerful, I am daring.
Some days I want to crawl into my mom’s lap,
Soft skin, strong arms holding me tight
Kisses on my forehead,
Gentle touches brush stray hair from my eyes.
Rocking back and forth, forward and back
I am safe, I am protected.
Some days I want to live on my own.
Staying up late, having friends over
Doing whatever I want
Singing and dancing all night
Faster and faster
I am independent, I am fun
Most days I do none of these things
Swing sets and laps are for kids.
Driving cars and living alone, for adults
I am neither
I am in between
Yet most days I am all of these things
Mighty and free, powerful and daring
Safe and protected, independent and fun
Faster and faster, forward and back
In between
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